Sometimes I find it hard to breathe
Hard to see when I’m choking on chunks of tangled blonde hair
Strayed across my face
Invading my mouth
And sticking to my lips.
The brush of my tongue turns them glossy and pink
Exposing a new layer, provoking a kiss,
Only to invite pain in,
Swallowed too soon
I wish I would have known.
That night there were scissors
Placed next to my dusty mirror
My roommate laid at rest
With screaming thoughts, I couldn’t hear her.
I craved her placidity
I searched for validity
But my actions don’t seem worthy of an explanation.
Those shiny metal blades
Were instant gratification
Just another attempt at a recreation
Of the same broken mind
Lost identification
I ripped my barriers from the roots
I just wanted to see
Left scattered strands of it
On the bathroom floor
Surrendered to my thoughts
To the girl next door
See, it’s never really over;
You’re never really sober
Remnants still found beneath my desk
Weeks later
When it was time for housekeeping.