I tie my shoes the way I do
Because my childhood best friend taught me at summer camp
How to loop laces with my fingers in the shape of guns.
Now it’s my party trick.
I eat peanut butter on my eggs every morning
Because I watched my dad do it my whole life
And decided to try it once he left.
Your Song is the only song that’ll make me cry
The boy who gave me my first kiss in the 7th grade
Dedicated it to me at the top of the playground.
He also ended up being my first love.
My first everything.
My favorite poem is The Invitation
Which my college roommate left on my bed one day.
We only saw each other when the other was asleep
But our values at the core were both so pretty and pure
Oriah Mountain Dreamer connected us in our dreams
I wear Hanes granny panties
Hanging out of the tops of my jeans
Like the first girl I loved
Who would pantlessly dance around her kitchen
Naked and free
The man who just left,
Intertwined in me
In every which way
Fostered my growth
Into womanhood.
Two separate stems,
Swirled into one bouquet.
The mug in which I pour my tea
Sculpted and mended by him.
The tray in which I ash my cigarette
Painted and imprinted with him.
Every vinyl I play
Every thing I do
Is traced with the footsteps
Of his fleeting existence
The daisies you picked
And left at my desk
Were destined to wilt.
At the time, those yellow rays saved me
Brought me purpose
And reason
To exit my cocoon.
But now their empty flower pot
Remains present, but stagnant
Empty, but complete
In its own art form.
As a reminder of the love we shared
The depth to which we cared
And a feeling I will never forget.
Edited: No man is responsible for any human’s growth into womanhood (or adulthood). I now take pride in my journey–in my choices–by recognizing and appreciating that they were mine, and continue to be mine. I–and only I–own my decisions, my experiences, and my present and future moments.